Creating the Best Version of Yourself After Divorce

Best Version of Yourself After Divorce

After all is said and done after a divorce you can be left with many emotions. No matter what reasons led you to this point in your life, it is important to know that you are going to be embarking on a journey where you can become the best, truest version of yourself. Life after divorce can be scary, exhausting, and at times lonely, but you can get through it and come out on the other side a version of yourself that you’ve always wanted to be. It is time to let go of who you were and start embracing who you are going to become! 

What is a “best version of yourself”?

When we talk about becoming the best version of yourself we don’t mean that you need to change the root of who you are. Rather, it  just means letting go of the things that were holding you back before, things that were keeping you from being who you truly wanted to be as a person. This isn’t to say that marriage was holding you back, it’s just to say that you after divorce will inevitably be different than you in marriage. Dreams change, goals change, perspectives change, and circumstances change. This is true for all people all the time but especially true for those going through divorce and/or separation. 

Here is how you can start to embrace the change you’re currently experiencing. 

Let Yourself Process Your Pain and Emotions. 

You will be going through a lot of different emotions, and to be clear when we say a lot we mean more than you could ever imagine! Some people struggle with these confusing feelings for months, and even years. This is completely normal.  You are going to be going through a low at this moment but it won’t be like this forever and it is important to remember that. 

If you’re scratching your head because you’re not experiencing that much emotional turmoil at the moment, that’s fine too. The spectrum of normal emotions following a break up vary wildly. Whatever you are feeling is perfectly fine. Let yourself feel those feelings and seek support from friends, family and therapists when you feel it’s necessary. 

Learn How to Be Alone. 

No matter how long or brief your relationship it will take some time adjusting to being on your own. To learn who you truly are, you need to spend some one-on-one time with yourself. You may be itching to get back out on the dating scene and that is great, but you really need to learn who you are as an individual before you do that. When you love yourself completely and without conditionality it will help you to understand what you want out of your next relationship. 

Embrace Your New Way of Life. 

Things probably look different in your home now. You may be doing things that you aren’t used to like being the sole cook around the house or the one who now drives the kids to practice in the evenings.. You may not be the best cook which is why it wasn’t your role before, so use this as an opportunity to teach yourself something new.  It may be rocky at first but everyday is a learning experience and everyday you’re investing in creating your best self. 

Rediscover Old Hobbies. 

Did you give up some things that you used to love to do while you were in your past relationship? Now is the time to rediscover those hobbies! While you are spending some reconnecting with yourself one-on-one you can really think back to what you used to enjoy doing and pick some of those things back up. Knitting, gardening, needlework, day trading, whatever it is you once loved pick it up again. Or find some new hobbies. 

Don’t Neglect Yourself.

Now may be the best time to go to the salon or barbershop for a little pampering or a fresh new cut. Or maybe you are overdue for a nice at home pedicure. Do whatever self-care habits feed your soul and help yourself feel better. Keep in mind that your self care might look different than the standard Instagram selfcare. If bath bombs and face masks aren’t your thing try calling an old friend, or picking up a good book and curling up in bed. Whatever it looks like for you spending time investing in yourself is NEVER a bad thing. 

Make sure you aren’t neglecting your personal health, either. Taking time to continue to take care of your physical health is also equally important, just make sure you are setting attainable goals. That revenge body is great in concept, but not the healthiest goal to set right now. If your goal is to lose weight or alter your appearance in anyway be sure you’re doing it for yourself, not your ex. 

Divorce is hard, but it is not the end. You will find yourself again, and you will create a better version of yourself in the process. 


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